Gardens, Easter and my Grandma

1. I come to the garden alone,
   While the dew is still on the roses,
   And the voice I hear falling on my ear
   The Son of God discloses.
   • Refrain:
     And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
     And He tells me I am His own;
     And the joy we share as we tarry there,
     None other has ever known.
2. He speaks, and the sound of His voice
   Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,
   And the melody that He gave to me
   Within my heart is ringing.
3. I’d stay in the garden with Him,
   Though the night around me be falling,
   But He bids me go; through the voice of woe
   His voice to me is calling.

This was one of my Grandma's favorite hymns.  We sang it at her funeral.  She instilled a love of gardening in me, along with so many other things.  This was one of my garden beds at my old house in NY.  I still mourn losing my gardens.  And my Grandma.  But the hymn reminds me that Easter is coming, and nothing loved and beautiful is gone forever.  

Meet my Heart Dog, George Bailey O'Connor

      He is my "be careful what you wish for" boy.  My Scottie, Riley, had chosen Jerry as "his person" and I was chopped liver.  Then I left NY alone and moved to Oregon.  I missed Jerry, Riley and our home.  I always knew I wanted a liver and white Springer boy.  And so my obsession began.  I looked everywhere - breeders, Craigslist, classifieds, etc, etc.  Lots of leads, but no hits.  Finally, I followed up an ad in the Oregonian and they had 2 male liver and whites.  I had a feeling this was it, but had to go to Phoenix for a few days for work.  They sent me photos and I picked one and asked them if they would hold him for me.  They did.  When I got back to Oregon, I headed out to the country, under the auspice of Mt. Hood, to get my boy.  When I got there and saw the 2 boys in person, I wasn't as sure anymore about which one I wanted to adopt.  I took pictures of each, sent them to Jerry and asked him to help me decide.  He said, if you want happy and playful looking, take the one you had them hold.  But if you are going for the "Gunnie look" that's the other one, for sure.  I looked again, and knew he was right.  I adopted the "other" little boy - thank God he was still there!  How could I have had them hold the one I didn't choose and leave my George Bailey to be adopted by someone else???!!!  I knew he was meant for me, just like I had always dreamed of.  He was my heart dog.  We began a really hard journey together.  I raised him alone, in a tiny, dumpy apartment while I was depressed and acutely lonely.  I didn't have the energy or the patience, and he was a typical active, full of life Springer.  But he was mine, and you know what - he loved me.  Really, truly, unconditionally loved me.  I am forever amazed at how beautiful he is, how loving he is, and his undying loyalty.  He is mine and I am his.  Go back up to the first sentence...you may be wondering why he is my "be careful what you wish for dog".   Because Riley "chose" Jerry, I wished for a dog who would choose me, want to be close to me and give me kisses.  I got that a hundred fold with my Bails.  Kisses - you even mention the word and you get an endless supply.  He can't give or receive enough love - exactly what I dreamed of and needed.  Yes, he is "over the top" sometimes and I actually need to tell him "all done".  All 50 lbs of him wants to sit on my lap like he did when he was a baby and kiss me endlessly. 

      I have lots of catching up to do on this blog, so this was your official introduction to my George Bailey.  He is now 19 mos. old, looking like a mature dog, but still has a heart of gold as big as the sky.  As Clarence Oddbody said "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives." My own George Bailey has touched my life and it will never, ever be the same.  He has taken up residence in my heart forever.  

Big Sister, Little Brother

It's who I am.  It set the stage.  I am the big sister of little brothers.  Maybe it's not this way for everyone, but in my family, I protected and watched them fiercely.  I had two little brothers, one is gone.  I thank God every day that I still have Todd Matthew. I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday.  He has been my "buddy" for almost 45 years.  We have been through hard times together. We have been through hard times apart.  We lost our way, but we have never lost our connection that goes to the core of my soul.  When Todd was born,  I was 6 yrs old.  I thought I wanted a sister.  I remember being told I had another brother.  I wasn't disappointed, rather felt more deeply ingrained into the role I was born into - the big sister to two little brothers.  I can't imagine life without him.  I had to think about that possibility a couple of months ago when we had a health scare.  I didn't do very well.  He is irreplaceable.  I am proud of my relationship with him.  We lost our way for awhile, but the most beautiful gift is that we never missed a beat.  We have always had so much fun together and had a rare relationship that was a combination of siblings and best friends.  I was there when he came home from being born.  If I die before him, I need him to be there when I die.  I love you little brother.  Don't ever doubt or forget it.

What's a Wazimamoto?

What's a Wazimamoto???

NOLA in July. First-time magic spell cast on me from the moment I arrived. How many places do you go in this country where you get off the plane and you know you are somewhere else, somewhere like no other. That's NOLA.

Hot like you can't imagine. A palpable mix of yesterday and today, a potpourri of races and religions, an ever present promise of more beneath the surface. Your choice is how far below the surface you go.

My interest in Marie Laveau was piqued. I was driven to find out more after seeing that she still holds a place of prominence as New Orlean's Voodoo Queen. My search led me to historical fiction novels by Jewell Parker Rhodes - "Voodoo Dreams", and "Yellow Moon". I devoured both books and although back in the rugged Pacific Northwest, felt connected again to the indescribable magic of New Orleans. Read them - in the order listed above to find the answer to the question, "What's a Wazimamoto?" That's the only way you want to find out, trust me.

August 15, 2010

Homeward bound
I wish I was
Homeward bound
Home, where my thought's escaping
Home, where my music's playing
Home, where my love lies waiting
Silently for me

Two Peas in a Pod
That's what the reader said we were - two peas in a pod. Raggedy Ann and Andy - the hair. She told me you wanted me to listen to an old song, that it would have meaning to me. She asked me if I knew the song - "Sunshine on My Shoulders" by John Denver. She said you were there - you were always with me. She said you had boundless, immense energy.

Oh, the yearning I feel when I look at your eyes. My little brother. You can't be gone. I look for white feathers. I wait for you to talk to me in my dreams. She said you were so sorry to have caused me so much pain. Love and pain dance together sometimes, don't they?