Two Peas in a Pod
That's what the reader said we were - two peas in a pod. Raggedy Ann and Andy - the hair. She told me you wanted me to listen to an old song, that it would have meaning to me. She asked me if I knew the song - "Sunshine on My Shoulders" by John Denver. She said you were there - you were always with me. She said you had boundless, immense energy.

Oh, the yearning I feel when I look at your eyes. My little brother. You can't be gone. I look for white feathers. I wait for you to talk to me in my dreams. She said you were so sorry to have caused me so much pain. Love and pain dance together sometimes, don't they?

The Cinnamon Girl Goes to Sugar Mountain

The Cinnamon Girl Goes to Sugar Mountain

And so, the circle was almost complete. My girl from my youth took me to see Neil Young for my 50th birthday gift. One of the best I've ever had - she was the very best. Born on my 21st birthday after Jerry and I had decided to live the lyrics to "Comes a Time".

I say almost, because he should have been there. He escaped "The Needle and the Damage Done", and we've got "Staying Power", him and I, "Staying Power, through thick and thin." I was 18 when he first played Neil's album "Everybody Knows This is Nowhere" for me. It was the beginning of a very long relationship - with Jerry and with Neil. We aged, and so did he. And now, "it's so hard for me staying here all alone" "because I'm still in love with you, on this Harvest Moon." And he was missed...but my girl with the "Heart of Gold" and I had a wonderful time. Being with her there was connecting the past and the present and all that we have shared between. She has seen us through from "Hank to Hendrix" and "Marilyn to Madonna", and is our "Natural Beauty". I am so grateful to have been able to hear Neil's beautiful, strong voice with her by my side.

So, "Tonight's the Night", not "One of These Days", cause don't you know how "Time Fades Away?"

Jakey's Blankie

I hope you...

have sweet dreams with it,
stay warm in it,
wrap it tight around yourself like a hug from me.

I hope you...

drag it on the floor,
take it in the car,
bring it on the train,
and carry it on a plane.

I hope you...

know that I made every stitch
while thinking a thought of you
before you were even here
but my love for you grew with each row.

Pie Dreams Deferred

Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes

Gingies

"Momma, can we make Gingies, pease, Momma? Pease?"

A large Hallmark Christmas card box filled to the brim to last me from Montana to NY.

The spicy smell baking in the oven, the little round balls being rolled in the sugar. The crackles on top coming out just right.

Gingersnaps. My Auntie Val's recipe, my favorite cookie, my son Ry's favorite cookie.

Alone

My goin' has nothing to do with you
I'm planning a trip all alone
And all I want is a room with a view
Where the sight of the sunset full blown
Makes me ache with feeling alone.

And I'll think about you there
If I do some thinkin'
And I'll care about you there
As it's love I've know
It's not to leave you that I'm goin'
I'm just goin' to be alone

It seems that I'm hearing those noises again
The voices, once small, now have grown.
Flashbacks keep sending me way back to when
The sounds of the waves on the stones
Make me ache with feelin' alone

-Carly Simon, 1971

We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience!

...and the Littlefield pilgrims of New England came to the Southern Tier of New York. They had children, and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren and I am one of them. My roots are there, no different than the roots of the trees that have shaded my family's graves and grown as I have grown during my lifetime. It is my thoughtful spot, a place that brings me calm and peace and where I feel surrounded by those I have loved so dearly, and where I will lay my head to rest when my temporary human being experience comes to an end. So many of us are there. My great-grandma, who I was named for, my great-grandpa, who had "the patience of Job" in my grandmother's words, my grandma Gopie - whose love is still palpable to me to this day, my Aunt Betty - a sweet little girl who died too young, my great-aunt Noni who created memories for us all, and my sweet baby brother Doug. How could a part of my heart not be here? Somehow, it doesn't make me sad to be there - although I have cried many times during my visits - it makes me feel safe and content and close to the spirits of those who will always live on in my heart and memories. I loved to sit on that cement bench through every stage of my life, and in my times of trouble, I close my eyes and put myself there, and I feel safe and at home. "Bury me not on the lone prairie"...but when my time has come, take me back to Barnard.

Welcome...

...to my blog. If you have found me, it may be because you searched for Pilgrim Girl. I guess this blog will be about Pilgrim Girl searching for herself. So you've found me and maybe I will find me too. Don't worry, it won't be all about self-evolution and waxing philosophical. I plan to do lots of food and craft and garden writing too. Even though I left my garden when I sailed over here on the Mayflower - oops, I meant Matrix. :) I can still tell you about my garden, as it was, and as it will be in my memories.